Me, From the Inside Out

Things have not been going so well since Gabby died.

I know a lot of people out there are thinking "It's just a dog" or "animals don't have a soul" or some such stuff, but all I can say is that I cannot explain the love between myself and my dogs to anyone who has not loved a four-legged baby. 

I have gone so far as to make an appointment with a grief counselor, because I have pretty much neglected myself for the past week and a half.  All the things I was so excited about have lost their appeal, I am not taking care of myself at all, and crying has pretty much replaced yoga. 

Why am I such a failure now? I used to tell myself to do something, and then I did it.  This past year has been a repeat of "wake up earlier, go to yoga every day, eat better, don't drink caffeine, drink water, take off your makeup, etc, etc" and I keep on failing.  Gabby's death is, in a way, the ultimate excuse.  I lost my first furbaby/best friend, so obviously putting all that stuff on hold for another little while is okay, right?

Well, no.  First of all, Gabby loved me.  Loves me.  She would not want me to be like this.  For each moment I regret not having with her is a moment that I can have with my family still here on Earth.

Some of the things I plan to do are silly: buy a dog jogging stroller so I can take my girls out to the park and get an extra hour and a half with them, make a doggy-safe room so that they can run free instead of stay in a crate so I can go to the gym or yoga after work and not feel guilty, start waking up and doing yoga in the morning so I can spend more time with my girls.  Some of them are just the same things I have been needing to do all along: eat a better raw diet, drink water, be consistent with yoga, sleep better.

Clean up the apartment.  !

I am cleaning up "me" from the inside out.  You are welcome to follow what I am sure will be an interesting journey (yes, complete with shopping, too!) 
Next on the list: actually blog more often.